Guest Author: Robin Becker + Giveaway

Robin Becker, author of the Brains: A Zombie Memoir, has been kind enough to stop by Reading with Tequila to teach us how to spot a smart zombie.

Let’s face it: Zombies aren’t sexy. They’re a slow, shambling mess of rancid, decaying flesh. They stink, their teeth are rotting out, and they only want you for your brains. Don’t even get me started on gangrene. Extremities fall off. You know what I’m talking about.

So forget about sexy zombies. They can’t compete with vampires anyway. Vamps are the undead everyone wants, the creatures of the night taking over the world with their sparkles and romance and drop-dead gorgeous paleness. Sigh. In all honesty, I’d let a vampire bite me. I’d like to live forever and wear goth outfits.

But back to zombies. If they can’t be sexy, then they can be smart—which is sexy in its own way, right? When the virus is unleashed, surely some living dead will retain cognition. They’d have thoughts and feelings. In other words, they’d have brains. And not just in their mouths, but their heads too.

Brains is the memoir of such a zombie: Jack Barnes, an intrepid ghoul who tries to stop his decomposition and secure his right to exist. Jack wants what we all want: a family, friends, life, liberty, and the pursuit of brains.

When the apocalypse happens, it might be difficult for inexperienced humans to distinguish the mindless zombies from the mindful ones. It’s a crucial distinction, because one wants to rip out your guts and the other wants to engage in conversation.

Have no fear. I helped Jack write his memoir and I can help you. When you see a horde of undead approaching on the horizon, consult the following list of basic characteristics. It could save your life.

• Zombie with yellow film covering his eyes: stupid. Chop off his head with an ax.
• Zombie carrying a copy of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass: smart. Ask whether she’s achieved transcendence now that she no longer has to face death.
• Zombie with patches on his wounds and stapled-together limbs: smart. And could be wily too. Exercise caution when conversing with this one. Be prepared to kill.
• Zombie carrying Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: your call. First, ask him how it compares with the Jane Austen original. Then plunge a straightened coat hanger into his eyeball, depending on whether or not you agree with his opinion.
• Zombie wielding a weapon over her head: smart. But kill her anyway. Obviously she’s going to use that weapon on you.
• Zombie dragging his leg behind him, drooling and shuffling: stupid. And sad. You can outrun him. If you like, show mercy and let him “live.”
• Zombie wearing a tweed jacket, tortoise-shell glasses, and carrying a notebook and pen: Jack Barnes. Don’t shoot. He’s going to change the world.

There are many more characteristics, most of which you’ll discover on your own. But there’s one overarching truth: Sometimes smart zombies succumb to their desires. Eating brains is part of their nature—it’s like asking a cat not to pounce on a mouse. If a smart zombie—even Jack Barnes—appears to be lunging for your cranium, don’t hesitate to destroy the thing. We all just want to survive.

About the Author

Robin Becker lives on a lake where she enjoys fishing in her pajamas. When the Zombie Apocalypse happens, she will feast on crappie and canned goods. In the meantime, she plays punk-rock guitar, bakes bread, and teaches writing at the University of Central Arkansas. The original 1978 Dawn of the Dead is her favorite zombie movie.

About the Book

Forget contemporary American literature--former college professor Jack Barnes has a new passion: Brains. It’s in his nature…he’s a zombie. But he’s not your normal, vacant-eyed, undead idiot. No, Jack Barnes has something most other victims of the zombie apocalypse don’t have: sentience. In fact, he can even write. And the story he has to tell is a truly disturbing--yet strangely heartwarming--one.

Convinced he’ll bring about a peaceful coexistence between zombies and humans if he can demonstrate his unique condition to the man responsible for the zombie virus, Howard Stein, Barnes sets off on a grueling cross-country journey to meet his maker. Along the way he meets more like him, rotting brain-eaters who have retained some sort of cognitive ability, and soon forms a small army that will stop at nothing to reach their goal. There’s Guts, the agile, dread-locked boy who can run like the wind; Joan, the matronly nurse adept at re-attaching rotting appendages; Annie, the young girl with a fierce quick-draw; and Ros, who can actually speak coherent sentences. Together they make their way through an eerie new world of roving zombie hunters, empty McMansions, and clogged highways on a quest to attain what all men, women--and apparently zombies--yearn for: equality.

Robin's website

Buy Brains through IndieBound

Buy Brains at Amazon

Reading with Tequila's review of Brains

Giveaway

Robin has provided one copy of Brains: A Zombie Memoir for one lucky reader!

To enter, leave a comment sharing your favorite zombie movie or book. Be sure to leave your email address in case you win!

Deadline for entry is Friday, May 28th at 11:59pm EST. US and Canada only.